and there was this chick standing next to me. pretty small, pretty cute, a regular japanese girl. i realised I needed to email my friend. so i start looking for my phone. i check the front pocket, back pocket, jacket pocket, and I cant find it. I remember that its in my bag, so I reach down, and pick up my bag. now, by accident, I very gently bump this girls purse as I reach down for my bag. now here comes the funny part.

This girl takes one step away, and look at me kind of shocked. then while watching me she slooowly opens up her bag, and then checks to make sure that her purse is still there. once she checks that all her money is still there, she looks over at me, and closes her bag again.

thats pretty rude. it made me wish i had magic gaijin powers to steal all her shit from her CLOSED PURSE.

so I was walking downtown in Shibuya the other night, and I see some construction workers doing construction. Their digging a small hole, and theres a guy down in the hole. Sure whatever. So there is a little detour that walks around the hole. Now at the start and end of the walk there are two guys, and they have lightsabers man, they’re so fucking cool. before I leave Tokyo, I will somehow get one of those lightsabers.

anyway before I have a chance to do anything, a guy comes over to me to guide me through the very difficult to understand walkway they have setup. The walkway is like 100 cones and lights on both sides, and its in a strait line from the construction. only the most retarded person would ever require any kind of assistance figuring out the next appropriaate step. If you need help, the next step is to continue down the extremely obvious path with all of the lights and barricades pointing you along.

now, despite this very obvious path, the government still thinks its a good idea to hire 2 people to help the super stupid navigate the dangerous 20 meter clearly marked path of doom. one of the lightsaber guys sees me. I see him. I was ina pretty good mood actually, so I decide to give his life some meaning.

I put on my best confused look, and turn my head a bit. I look like I’m unsure what is going on. I dont know what to do. The lightsabres guys open very wide as he looks at me. I take a confused step, and look at the detour path. His mouth opens. This is the moment he has been waiting his entire life for(well at least a few years after his lightsabre training course). He RUNS over to me. We cant talk to each other, but for a moment he looks at me like a shepherd looks at a lost sheep, and with a smile that warms my cold heart, he guides me with loving care through the detour, and with half a tear, he passes me off to the lightsabre guy at the other end of the detour.

I was only really taking the piss, but his determination and how he put in 100% and the way he helped me actually made it not funny. I honeslty thought the opposite would be true. bastard.

so the other day I was walking around Hachioji with a friend, and I saw this shop name - NUNI. thats a funny name so I wondered what it stands for. I walked around the corner, and saw a picture of like, a womans leg wearing a stocking or something, and then the jinglish down the bottom.

NUNI = Never Up, Never In

which left me wondering what the hell kind of shop is that. a support group for dissapointed housewives? what the fuck huh. i'll try to take a photo of that and show it to you guys, it must be shared with the world.

saw this link on a GABA english teaching website. i was surprised to see it and surprised to learn the answer. bahaha.

http://english.mag2.com/marvin/

I don't ride taxis much in Japan because I live near Kichioji station, but the few times I rode a taxi, I always had a good experience. They were clean, efficient, ,and honest. Most taxi's in London are only 2 out of these 3 if you're lucky. Recently, I was coming home from an izakaya, and I saw two taxi drivers having a smoke break. They seemed happy and called me over to say hello. They only spoke a little bit of English, but they were quick to talk to me about taxi drivers in my country. "WHERE YOU FROM!!" "London." "OH LONDON TAXI DRIVER THINK THEY BEST IN WORLD. THEY NOT BEST!!" "Uh, they're not? "NO!!! THEY SAY THEY KNOW ALL ROAD AND THEY BEST. BUT LONDON SO SMALL. I KNOW ALL TOKYO ROAD AND TOKYO 10 TIME BIGGER THAN LONDON!" "I guess so..!" "SO TOKYO TAXI DRIVERS ARE BEST!" "Actually, I have only had a few taxi rides, but I agree with you!" So, there you have it. Tokyo taxi drivers are the best.

I have been teaching English now for 2 and a half months. I was pretty excited to start with because I can stand in front of people and talk, which is what i do all day anyway, and no-one pays me for it. After 2 months, it's still pretty much alright, but it's starting to get boring.

I just wish people would have something to talk about. We're sitting around, and there are 3 Japanese and me. I start to ask a Japanese housewife some questions.

timbo - so, how are you today?
housewife - i am fine, and you.
timbo - good. how was your weekend?
housewife - it was......... ............ good.
timbo - good, so what did you do?
housewife - i did shopping and did sleeping.
timbo - thats, great. tell me about your shopping.
housewife - i did shopping in shopping place.
timbo - " "
house wife - " "
timbo - "so... what did you buy?"
house wife - "nothing."
timbo - "oh, you did window shopping."
house wife - "no, i no buy anything."
timbo - " "
housewife - " "
timbo - "soo.... how was sleeping?"

Sometimes I get a really interesting guy who can talk good English, and we shoot the shit for ages. thats really fun and I get into that. even if someone doesn't speak english, it's fine, if they're enthusiastic and excited to learn. sometimes the zombies get to me a bit, but it's my job
to make the class fun and interesting.

anyway, so far i am loving Japan and i can leave at like 4pm, which gives me lots of time to get into trouble.

hi, my name is Timbo. I work at a large English teaching company in Saitama.

This is my first time writing a blog but I can hopefully entertain you wtih my various Japan adventures, with a starstudded cast of housewives, english teachers, college students, asshole bosses, and whoever else i meet every day.

I'm gunna make some categories and make a post or two. Stay tuned.

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